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Archive for August, 2014

In 2012 our youngest son graduated from high school. He applied to only one college his senior year, and by God’s grace, he was accepted! The day that my Dad took his last breath on this earth, Blane got a call from the college, asking if he would be interested in coming down for the second session of the summer work program. They called him before Dad passed and so I said, “Of course!” without even a thought. God was so gracious to allow that call to come BEFORE my Dad passed away, otherwise, I am not sure I would have had the strength to tell this super excited young man yes.

Fast forward 2 years…this (soon to be) 21 year old son of ours calls again with incredible excitement in his voice. College of the Ozarks just announced that there would be a Patriotic Travel Trip to Vietnam this fall (2014). So Blane wrote an essay, which I will post for your reading pleasure. Out of the submitted essays, 12 students would be chosen to accompany 12 Vietnam Veterans to a 13 day trip to Vietnam. In this essay they were to include their reason for desiring to go on this trip. So, of course, Blane wrote about my Dad and Dad’s impact on his life.

Patriotic Travel Trip – Vietnam Essay

Blane R. Bias

     “Above all, Vietnam was a war that asked everything of a few and nothing of most in America…” (Myrna MacPherson, 1984). My interest in participating in the Patriotic Trip to Vietnam stems from my grandfather, Gary B Whitehead. He served as a Combat Medic with the 25th Infantry Division during the Tet Offensive in 1968. On August 4th, 1968, he was wounded when he and his men stepped on a booby trap. In the moments after landing back on the ground, he army crawled to the other wounded men, and bandaged them all up. By the time the helicopter arrived, my grandpa’s wounds were the only ones that had not been attended to. For this heroic deed, he received the Purple Heart and Bronze Star. During my childhood, my grandpa instilled in both, my brother and I, a deep respect for the soldiers who fought for the United States, especially the soldiers that fought in Vietnam. My grandpa also taught me to have a huge sense of patriotism, duty and pride for America. I remember my grandpa sadly recounting how the soldiers were treated when they arrived back home from Vietnam. With glistening eyes he said that people spit on them and called them “baby killers”. This made me really sad to hear that people back then did not understand that they went there to die for their country. I want to go on this trip so that I can honor my grandpa’s memory.

     I would like to go on this trip so that I can see some of the places that my grandpa may have been and experience some of the places he told in his stories. If I am chosen to do on this trip I hope to gain a deeper understanding of the things that the soldiers went through over in Vietnam. Also I want to honor the service of the Vietnam Veterans who we will be accompanying and learn about some of the struggles that they have been through. I would be grateful for the privilege of honoring them by listening to their stories and sharing in this time with them.

     On June 12th 2012, my grandpa died after a 7 year battle with Lewy Body Dementia, a disease in which patients slowly lose both their cognitive skills and mental thought processes, along with their ability to communicate. Ironically, he died two hours after someone from College of the Ozarks called me to let me know that I have been given the second summer work session. By God’s grace, in 2010, my grandpa went with Central Missouri Honor Flight out of Columbia, Missouri to Washington D.C. to the World War II, Vietnam and Korean War Memorials. Grandpa went because he wanted to honor the men that did die in Vietnam, and to say he was sorry to the ones that he could not save. As I recount all of this, I am reminded of how much respect I have for my grandpa and for those that have fought for my freedom.

 

I can gratefully say that Blane was one of the students chosen to take this trip. They will leave September 25th and return October 8th, 2014. He will celebrate his 21st birthday in Vietnam (HOW COOL IS THAT??). We are so excited for what God will do in Blane’s life, the lives of all that are on the trip and those that they will encounter while they are gone. Blane is taking 18 hours this semester and has 15 hours per week to work. All of the students on this trip must have their class work done that they will miss BEFORE they leave, and he will have to make up the 30 work hours that he will miss while he is gone. We would appreciate your prayers for all of them over the next month. I will be posting the link to the blog that the students will be writing while they are gone so that we can keep up with how their trip is going.

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If you had told me in January of this year that today would be so full of joy that my heart would overflow and I could hardly keep the smile from my face as we drove home from church, I would have rolled my eyes and said in a sarcastic tone, “Yeah right…”.

Let me back up…here is a run-down of 2012…My cousin, John, passed away from stomach cancer in January. Blane graduated from high school, changing my life as a mom. My dad passed away in June. We moved Blane to college two weeks later. In August the wife of Freddo’s co-worker died; she had become my friend over that last year and a half of her life, and we were there when she passed away…bringing with it all the sights and sounds of my dad’s death… In November a very close friend of mine died. I went to see her on Friday. She couldn’t respond to me, but when I told her I had to go and prayed with her, and that I would be back the next day, she got restless and started making noises for the first time since I had been there…if only I had known that she would pass away the next morning…I would never have left…

All through this process I spent time each day searching for gifts, and I journaled them. Honestly, this daily moment by moment act and praise music were like my life lines through the dark days. I knew God was there, but because of the pain my heart was in, I couldn’t see Him, or feel Him. (I recently learned that “feeling” my way to God is not biblical.) I developed a very discouraged and rebellious attitude. I didn’t care much about anything. I struggled to find joy in each day and I still laughed and smiled upon occasion, but I felt lost.

In December of 2013 Bob’s dad was diagnosed with Diffuse Large B-Cell Lymphoma and was given “months” to live. In January of 2014 we moved into their home to assist in his daily caregiving needs and stayed with them until a week after he passed away at the end of March.  In February Freddo and I resigned all of our “positions” of ministry at our church, since we didn’t know how long this would go on. Our hearts were so sad and discouraged, and yet we KNEW we were right where God intended us to be.

I learned so much during this time! One thing was… that a few clothes, my own pillow, my tablet, my Bible, a book called “Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl”, and my hubby was really all I needed from home. We have always tried to live a “simple” life, but this really was simple. I recall thinking, “All that stuff at our house, all the decorations, the dishes, the clothes, jewelry, furniture, tv, etc., none of it means anything.” I guess God really changed my heart about our possessions during that time. Now, to be honest, I still struggle with contentment, and I think I always will to some degree, but there had been a definite shift in my thinking.

Freddo and I struggled about where God wanted us to worship from here on out. We worshiped with his mom at his folk’s church for some time, and while our hearts were so encouraged by the love and support from their community, we never had a peace that we were to leave our home church. So we decided to go back to “visit” our church. We sure felt on guard during that time, and I can’t tell you the exact Sunday that we knew what God’s plan for us was, but I can say we were convicted during worship one Sunday morning. On our way home we agreed that if we were going to worship at HBC, we were going to get back into serving the Lord there. And that exact week, God opened doors for us that we had never imagined. We decided that we would serve God with our hearts, wholly surrendered to Him, despite the cost.

Today, August 24, 2014, I can tell you that for the first time in a long time, I walked away from a full day of service to the Lord with an overflowing heart, so full of love for His people. It would take a while to go all the joys God blessed me with today, but I do want to testify that God has renewed my heart and healed it. It has been a slow, long, painful process, but I can at this time thank Him for all the pain of these past few years.

If you are discouraged by the trials in your life, let me encourage you to not give up the fight. Seek God. God’s Word says in Psalm 53:2, “God looks down from heaven on the children of man to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God.”  After reading this verse, I realized that I want to be one that God sees who understands and who seeks after Him. Don’t you?

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